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 SKY FULL OF SONG

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l'amoureuse
MESSAGES : 731

MessageSujet: Re: SKY FULL OF SONG   Dim 22 Juil - 20:53

mister moon   

you looked down today, i never saw you like that  



thanks for noticing, but don't worry too much, i'm fine  



angel, you don't look fine at all. what's wrong ?



have you ever had your heart broken by someone but still let it open for them, but they end up crushing it in million pieces ?


is it about seulgi ?



how did you know ?



i can feel an odd connection between you two.

so... would you mind telling me this story of yours ?



where do i begin ?

i met seulgi one year ago, i was walking home handing some flowers i took from work and she stopped me. she introduced herself as a photographer and she asked if she could take a picture of me



cute Smile



i gave her my number because i wanted to see how the photos turned out. but she called me again, to ask me if i'd accepted to be her model for free. she had just graduated and she struggled to find work and struggled even more to find money. i wanted to help so i said yes. things began slowly.

from here, it's pretty cliché but before her, i felt like i wasn't really special or important. she gave me a fairytale-like story and she was really caring.


how long have you been together ?



for five-six months. we were really discreet, though, i've never told anyone about her except my best friend. things were going well. we argued a lot but only over silly things, everything fell into place with her, everything made sense but i don't know why... one night, she decided to break up with me.

yeah,, i won't repeat all the harsh words she said but the blames on me were that i wasn't bold enough and life with me wasn't exciting. that i wasn't enough for her, meaning i didn't strive for anything greater than my little life, my pretty flowers and my art books ; she was better than that. she blamed me for making her insecure about herself because i didn't want to show off we were a couple. that behind my kind-hearted nice girl act, i was just hidind a pathetic and bland personality.



wow. and you forgave her ? why ?



why wouldn't i ? i felt sorry she wasn't comfortable being with me anymore, i didn't see what changed between the beginning of our relationship and then.



you took the blame ?



i loved her too much to see her unhappy. if i wasn't the one who could make her happy, i've got to set her free.



what's going on between you two, these days ?



she kissed me two days ago while being drunk and she said she doesn't regret it.

she's going through a lot. we stayed out late these nights because she needed to free her mind. i followed her from bar to bar, clubs to clubs, rooftops to rooftops. she was pretty talkative after four-five drinks and it may be selfish but i liked being the one who made her laugh despite her problems, i liked being there for her when no one else could. she's caught up between her mom being sick, her struggles to find work as a photographer and i think there's something going on between her boyfriend and her. she talked to me about that very loosely, so i think everything must be true

and that makes me wonder a lot about one thing she said to me...

"i wish i had chosen you."

then she said it was too late, that she couldn't explain

because she sold her soul to the devil wearing prada... she was giggling before mouthing "sooyoung".



what ?











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l'amoureuse
MESSAGES : 731

MessageSujet: Re: SKY FULL OF SONG   Lun 23 Juil - 10:29

. . .

"i wish i had chosen you"... you said that because you chose photography over me when joy made a deal with you


yes, yn



she told me everything, just now, i'm taking some time to think



i think you don't deserve someone who didn't choose you, at all costs



i'm kind of sick of people making choices for me, actually



i never did but now i apologize for everything i said while i broke up with you. i tried to find everything i could to make up a reason to break up. and maybe i thought it would be easier if you ended up hating me, but you didn't



i was born the day you kissed me, died the day you left me. i'll never stopped loving you even if you hurt me, i was happy to talk to you again. i cannot stay away from you, i am miserable either way.



i still think about the times we had. i'll cherish these moments forever.



i think we had what we could have. you'll always be one of my favourite person on earth but i'm waiting for the one day to come, when i can look at you and feel nothing.





. . .

i'll finish in 10 minutes



no problem, i'm talking with taeil. he's very nice



if he's offering to drive you home and if you don't want to walk, don't bother waiting for me!!



no no, don't worry






seulgi

i'm in a bad state too, today  

taeil seems pretty concerned but, he understood after seeing your instagram post



my boss is trying to convince me to go home because she's worrying about me

now i'm just sleep-deprived, i'm sleep-deprived and hungover



yeah, we've actually went further than i could handle

but i don't regret anything



hm,, so you remember everything ?



i do



that means...

even the kissing part



Smile

i want to never forget this part



i don't know what to say, seulgi



i'm pretty confused too, to be honest

i think we should take some time to think about it



i thought we could talk about it tonight ?



i can't tonight, sorry...



oh...no problem, i know where to find you anyway Smile



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l'amoureuse
MESSAGES : 731

MessageSujet: Re: SKY FULL OF SONG   Lun 23 Juil - 10:55

. . .

i got home safely from incheon. now, i'm going to say what i have to say.

joy, there's still a huge stigma around same-sex relationships in our country but things are evolving. i was scared and stayed lowkey but i was so happy loving someone and being loved. everything fell into place.

you can't say you're a feminist and defend women's right if you can't accept women who loves other women !

it's more than just "girl power", there are real societal and cultural issues. feminism is not a trend, it's not a brand. you should be genuine in the causes you advocate. also, respect me. as a woman, as a friend, as a human. i am your best friend but i am my own person, you can't control who i love or who i should be with even if you have the power/money to do so..



i know right ! all their dresses were beautiful and you should have seen the jewellry!!! to. die. for. they're organizing a dinner saturday night and i'll wear one of these outfits. i sure will feel like a true princess



not a princess, a true queen !



well said, and what is a queen without a prince ? i'm going with jaehyun, you know, the cute manager



how lucky you are !

can i call you now ? i need to get something off my chest

about seulgi...



i'm sorry baby, i'm busy right now. later ???



nevermind, i'll be fine. i'm going for a walk, hope it will clear my mind a bit





. . .

joy, i don't want to lose you.

i think you've got things to say to me.



hey. ready to hate me ?

it will be easier for me to tell you everything at one go.

first of all, yn, you're my best friend from kindergarten until now, i would die for you and i'm sorry i hurt you because everything i did wasn't ill-intentioned.

i'm not a perfect person, i am the way i am and i use the means i have to get what i want.

i was scared you would get hurt with seulgi because... because she's a woman. that's why. like,, here two women can't really be together without people judging them and without being discriminated. i didn't want you in some sort of hopeless relationship.



also, as a public figure... i didn't want to be involved with,, such a thing and thought about my career

i asked seulgi to chose between you and photography

the deal was simple, i gave her all the money she needed to establish herself as a professional photographer if she gave up on you.

but she never asked me anything and now i learn from you that she's still have financial problems,,

i pushed the thing further by telling taeyong that she was single, after she broke up with you. they've been in art school together and he always had a crush on her, i thought her being with him would 1) make her forget about you 2) cancel any feelings you could still have for her.



i don't know what he said to her that made her question everything and reach for you again

maybe he felt guilty that under my pressure, he tried to seduce her at all costs and wondered if her feelings for him were genuine...

so that's why seulgi reappeared in your life, she's confused

now i don't know what to do... for me it seems that you and seulgi still love each other so... i did all of this for nothing and lost my best friend along the way.

i'm sorry.



at this point, i don't even know what to say.




















i know right ! all their dresses were beautiful and you should have seen the jewellry!!! to. die. for. they're organizing a dinner saturday night and i'll wear one of these outfits. i sure will feel like a true princess



not a princess, a true queen !



well said, and what is a queen without a prince ? i'm going with jaehyun, you know, the cute manager



how lucky you are !

can i call you now ? i need to get something off my chest

about seulgi...



i'm sorry baby, i'm busy right now. later ???



nevermind, i'll be fine. i'm going for a walk, hope it will clear my mind a bit



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